As every Minneapolitan with a Black Eyed Peas fan club membership card knows, Fergie Ferg is bringing her distinctive, pants-peeing brand of Fergalicious pop music to the Minnesota State Fair Grandstand on Saturday at 7:30.
I have largely refrained from local media and local blogger criticism to this point, as it is anathema to write negatively about music writers in this particular locality (especially those who cover the execrable local scene). But a certain article now requires me to say something I have long wanted to say: THE WRITERS OF SAID ARTICLE SMELL LIKE FUNK, AND THEIR ODOR IS NOT LIMITED TO THIS PARTICULAR CASE AND/OR OFFENSE.
While I would normally rebut their points one-by-one (including urging them to carefully examine the veracity of their first statement), I have chosen not to do so in this instance, since it is manifest that the authors do not, and perhaps cannot, understand the concept of living social satire.
1) YES, it looks a lot like M.I.A.’s website.
2) What does it mean? If historical data (previous graphologists’ opinions and the like) are to be trusted, the colorful graph most probably concludes that I have lame taste in music.
UPDATE: Please note that the Black Eyed Peas came in at 34th place. Though I have very little idea what that means, it seems respectable.
Yes, we at the ListeNerd love anything remotely related to the Black Eyed Peas, America’s most inane and fitting super-group.
What follows is a new video for “I Got It from My Mama” from the most whimsically punctuated Pea of all, Will.I.Am. Please note the musician’s incredible discipline, repeating the same mantra-like lines over and over again, grinding them into the helpless listener’s brain like a drill. Enjoy!
Great news on the animatronic band front: Having yesterday highlighted a Chuck E. Cheese band modded to play hip-hop, it has today come to our attention that said band has also been known to cover tunes that are a bit more Fergalicious.
But can it be modded for onstage incontinence? What follows is Fergie’s “London Bridge.”
As I have mentioned previously, I have a great, inexplicable love for the Black Eyed Peas.
Pea stalwart Will.I.Am – whose near-arbitrary choices in personal punctuation I greatly admire – offers fans this nugget of wisdom in the L.A. Times: “I wish there were a kind of heart condom. Say I’m a skanky dude who gave my girlfriend herpes. Now, you can take a cream and make that disappear. But for the rest of their life, they’re going to be jaded.”
True, insightful and evocative – as the Peas best work always is.
Will has a new solo album out and in true Peas’ fashion, its title is jarringly straightforward (these are, you will recall, writers of the lyrically lobotomized “My Humps”): Songs About Girls. However, the question all true Peas fans will be asking themselves as they consider purchasing the album is this: Will it be dumb enough?
Mixtape Maestro offers up an MP3 of Will’s first single, “I Got It from My Mama.” Judge for yourselves.
Bad news for my beloved Black Eyed Peas (the best worst band ever). Their REVERSE GENIUS magnum opus, “My Humps” (a poetical homage to the singer’s “lovely lady lumps”) has been named most annoying song ever by the readers of Rolling Stone, the most annoying magazine ever.
The top 5:
1. Black Eyed Peas, “My Humps”
2. Los Del Rio, “Macarena”
3. Baha Men, “Who Let The Dogs Out”
4. Celine Dion, “My Heart Will Go On”
5. Nickelback, “Photograph”
Meatloaf and local boys Semisonic also make the top 20.
Interestingly enough, the Chili’s babyback ribs song is nowhere to be found.
Uh-oh news from my much-loved Black Eyed Peas (on whom I have an inspired two-martini rant about their “reverse genius”). Fergie has signed a product placement deal with Candie’s, promising to write songs that specifically promote the girly shoes, accessories and other frippery.
Also: Always with the pants-peeing, Fergie.